What to Say When Someone Farts

Percy Bysshe Shelley, Orpheus, lines 35-37:

What wondrous sound is that, mournful and faint,
But more melodious than the murmuring wind
Which through the columns of a temple glides?

Trick-or-Treat

Sue Grafton, 'F' Is for Fugitive (1989; rpt. New York: Bantam Books, 1990), p. 204:

I have a friend named Leo who became phobic about old ladies after one wrapped a turd in waxed paper and put it in his trick-or-treat bag. He was twelve at the time and said that aside from spoiling Halloween for him, it ruined all his candy corn. He never could trust old folks after that.

Hat tip: Mrs. Turdman.