Monday, July 21, 2014

Eulogy of a Fart

Yong Yap and Arthur Cotterell, The Early Civilization of China (London: Weidenfeld and Nicolson, 1975), p. 213:
A most distinguished scholar died and found himself standing before the King of the Underworld. When the monarch accidentally farted, the shih sang an eulogy of the fart in endless verses. At one point he declaimed:
Let regal steam free passage find
From golden buttocks raised behind,
As when such sounds of music soft
Of organ pipes and strings doth waft;
Such fragrance is not held a stain
Though quivering scent the nostrils strain;
While rapt in thrall thy servant low
Exults, o'erwhelmed by massy blow.
So pleased was the King of the Underworld by the poetry that he extended the scholar's life for ten years. The shih returned to the world of the living and at length time came for him to leave again. When on his second arrival the King of the Underworld asked who the scholar was, one of the little devils answered, 'He's the Crap Poet!'

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